"Rock Climbing Summary Paper"by Annette CulottaIt only took about five minutes of listening to our teacher speak before I began to relax. He seemed so laid back. "This class is going to be fun," I thought. I loved the way we all were able to get to know each other that first night. The activities involving trust were fun and challenging. I have always had a problem with trust; either I trust people too much, or too little. By the end of the first class, I felt good and was anxious to be back the next day. On Saturday, I found I was a little nervous again. I had no idea if I would be able to climb very well. My only relief came from the fact that I knew it would not be a competition and that my grade was to be based on how well I tried rather than how well I actually performed. When we entered Indoor Summits, it was not what I had expected. I had pictured the walls to be much higher, the place to be much bigger. We watched the marines climb for awhile, and they made it look quite simple. The owner of Indoor Summits was just how our teacher had described him to be, wild and crazy. I remember I was anxious to begin, to test myself. There are many memorable moments of that day which stick out now in my head. For example, on our second climb, my partner and I picked a wall that tilted forward so that you almost would have to climb a slanted ceiling. I only went as far as that point. When I was ready to rappel, the slant caused me to swing far from the wall. I held on to the rope and prayed. I was so relieved when the owner grabbed my feet and stopped my swing. I suppose that incident, taking place so early on, served as an eye-opener. I began to realize that I was far up. The walls were higher than they appeared from the ground. The climbing was such a challenge. So many times I found myself afraid to go any higher. Just being halfway up the wall seemed high enough. One time, when I was about to give up and rappel, I stopped myself and decided to go higher. I counted to three and then used my legs to push myself high enough to grasp the next handhold. It had seemed impossible to do until I did it. I went to the top that time. It felt so good. I was so proud of myself up there and for a brief time, I savored the moment. I remember wishing someone I knew could see me. I've always been a scaredy-cat. I wanted someone to see how brave I had been. Then I realized it probably meant more to me than it would mean to anyone else, and so I felt satisfied being my only witness. I climbed that same wall at least three more times. I found that it was my favorite climb, and I wanted to perfect it. Another nice memory I have involves my partner. We worked well together that day. I knew she was taking care of me and I did my best to make sure she felt the same way. I wanted her to trust me. It was later that day when we were rappelling back at he gym that I knew she trusted me. We were both nervous to do the rappel down the bleacher wall. It seemed different to start at the top rather than at the bottom. I just kept thinking that stepping over the ledge to go down was like the first step of suicide. Once we were acquainted with the routine (he who climbs will belay for the next climber), my partner turned to me and said, "I want to climb after you. I want you to be my belayer because I know you won't let me fall." I think I smiled more on the inside than outwardly. I guess you could say that I felt honored. It was a good feeling. That rappel was probably the most nerve-racking part of my experience. I was so nervous and scared. When he was getting me ready for the rappel, my teacher talked to me about school and my major, accounting. I knew he was trying to quell my fears, make me relax. Even though I was aware of what he was doing, it worked nonetheless. The hardest part for me was taking the first step once I was over the railing. I remember looking at my teacher and telling him I couldn't blame the girl who he said had cried all the way down. That was how I felt. I wanted to cry. I didn't want to do it. I don't think I would have if it had been anyone other than my teacher who was there with me, kindly urging me to go ahead and take the first step. I had developed such a liking towards him. I trusted him and knew he wouldn't let anything happen. I also knew that I would hate myself if I didn't do it. The first step was hard, and so was the second. But with every step I felt myself relax a bit. By the time I was supposed to let go of the rope and hang upside-down, I felt ready to. It was a great experience. The last talk we had as a class out on the lawn really affected me. We took turns with the bamboo stick and said our peace. I felt like I was about to leave a whole group of friends. I think that the feeling was one shared by everyone present. I left the circle knowing if I didn't make it to my car soon enough, I would start crying. I felt touched. The drive home was nice for me. It takes forty-five minutes and sometimes can be such a drag. But I had so much to think about that day. I kept going over every memory in my head so that I would never forget. I felt at ease and happy, content with where I had been and what I had done. For that brief while, nothing else mattered. The experience of my rock-climbing class is one I would never take back. The part of it that I liked most can be summed up with something Dan said. He said that when you are on that wall, nothing else exists except yourself and the wall. There is no thinking about tomorrow or yesterday. There is only the here and now that matters. I found this to be one hundred percent true. Not just while I was climbing either. The entire day of that second class, my thoughts were focused only on what was happening at the present moment. I wasn't thinking about the fact that I had to work again in two days. I wasn't wondering what anyone else was up to. I didn't care what had happened the day before. I focused completely on the present. This is something I wish I could do more often. I am always worrying about past and future, so much that sometimes I dilute my enjoyment of the present. This is something I want to work on. My rock-climbing class helped me to discover such peacefulness for the first time, and it is a feeling I want to feel again and with more frequency. It is in the knowing that it can be done that gives me hope. ------------------------ |