Football,
Fires and Talking Circles
by
Mike Donatucci
The reason I am writing
this article is because I want to share a tool that
we have used for
the past 7 years that has helped us consistently elevate
our players and
consequently our teams to a level of excellence that has
been described as
beyond their talent level. The tool is the “talking
circle”/ “team fire”;
the result is a unified , aware group of young men
whose egos
take a back seat to the success of the team, and whose openness
and genuine
concern for each other translates into victories on and off the
field.
Being a coach and
educator of 25 years, I have read about and tried numerous
methods pertaining
to motivation of teams and individuals. Like most coaches
I believed there
was some magic formula “out there” that helped transform
players and teams
from being average to being a powerhouse. The thing that
blinded me and kept
me from finding that magical formula was that I was
“looking out there”
for the answer instead of “inside” of my own heart.
The circles were
a way of incorporating the “one on one sit down”, an
approach that I
had used instinctively since day one as a coach, to the
entire team. I knew
in my heart years ago that what made me different as a
coach was my ability
to connect at a interpersonal level with my players. As
an individual there
are personalities that you will naturally have an easier
time connecting
with, but unfortunately as a coach this can create a
division among the
players if those you are not connecting with easily,
perceive it as having
favorites. The Circles establish a method by which
team issues are
discussed and dealt with. It gives the players a tool to
express their opinions,
observations and concerns along with helping them
process the physical,
emotional and social aspects of the game. It also
gives our coaches
insight to our teachings , our approach and the
perceptions we are
creating. It becomes a non threatening evaluation tool
for the staff and
players. “In order to be understood, one must first
understand.”
As a coach
I have been described by supporters as intense, driven, focused,
direct , passionate
and compassionate. I also have been described by non
supporters as out
of control, possessed , confrontational , obsessive and
mean. Regardless
of who you may talk to one thing has been consistent and
cannot be denied.
Our players play with a sense of confidence, family,
loyalty and tenacity.
They have a sense of ownership and they believe they
can create their
own future. They trust the system . I feel this stems from
the cultivation
of love and appreciation of self and others through the
dialogue and processing
that takes place in the team circles and team fires.
Since the talking
circles are used daily I will describe this type of circle
first. The
following are the rules we follow when we are in the talking
circle. They are
no different than any type of full value contract one may
use in an Adventure
Education class.
• Respect all in
the circle
• Create a safe
physical and emotional environment.
• Be open to multiple
solutions.
• Make conflict
resolution a priority. View any conflict as an opportunity
to grow.
• Be willing to
exchange honest and open feedback.
• Be willing to
move beyond one’s personal comfort zone.
The person with the
talking stick has the floor. Those who wish to talk do
so by raising their
hand and waiting until the stick is in their possession.
Players talk in
terms of how experiences made them feel personally, rather
than projecting
judgment on another person’s action or statement.
Questions are allowed
and can be directed to anyone.
We stress the importance
of communication and debriefing / reflection
constantly.
From day one as freshmen we want our players to be able to
verbalize their
perceptions and needs. This helps to give them a feeling of
ownership in the
program and establishes open communication with the staff.
We use our circles
to debrief at the end of practices, sometimes in small
groups by position.
Either way we use the debriefing as a way to reinforce
and clarify concepts
or strategies that we worked on, or we use the debrief
as a way of emphasizing
or correcting any situations that have occurred. We
never want a player
to leave practice for the day with a question unanswered
or a situation not
addressed.
The similarities
between a sports team and an Adventure education class are
very strong. Both
need to develop trust, communication, problem solving
skills, patience
and respect. All the elements that we coach on the field
are mirrored in
the adventure classes. Even though the types of students are
sometimes as different
as night and day, the principle of challenge and
overcoming an obstacle
as a group is the bonding element. Total focus on a
shared goal and
the effort and emotion attached with it is the magic that
creates the bonds
and the opportunities to appreciate and trust your peers.
Regardless of the
situation: a football game, a climb or a problem solving
activity, it’s all
the same. The circles we use as a football team are just
as important and
fruitful with the adventure classes. Both experiences need
to be processed
. Points of view need to be shared . Perceptions need to be
expressed. This
all leads to a better understanding of the total group
experience and the
group as a whole.
The circles that
have received the most attention have been our weekly
Football Team Fires
that we have every Thursday evening during the season.
These fires have
provided us with an edge and the following opportunities:
• The fires offer
an opportunity for players to focus on their
responsibilities
as players.
• The fires offers
an opportunity for the team to focus on how it must
function as a whole
in order to be successful.
• The fires offers
an opportunity for atonement and conflict resolution.
• The fires offer
an opportunity for sharing personal issues that might
have influenced
behavior or performance.
• The fires offer
an opportunity for compassion when players reveals their
vulnerable side.
• The fires offer
an opportunity to stress the principles of our program
such as respect
, iron will, an abundance mentality, the ability to create
our own future and
a warrior spirit.
• The fires offer
an opportunity for the coaches to be seen in a different
light: a chance
to share rather than tell.
Each fire has its
own life and its own purpose. We don’t try to duplicate
previous fires because
the needs of the players as well as their moods and
level of openness
vary from week to week. However, we do start and end all
fires the same way.
The following is a description of a typical fire.
The fire is held
in my backyard. Either my son Tim, who graduated in 2001,
or I will start
the fire around 7:15 pm. The players arrive in clusters and
take their random
spots around the fire. Depending on the time of year and
weather we start
between 7:30 and 8:00 pm. In 6 years and 64 fires we have
been rained out
only once. Coincidentally, we lost that game. (Our record in
those over 64 games
is 45 –19). Unlike our talking circles which are always
one big circle ,the
fire circle tends to be 3 or 4 deep around the fire. All
the players are
within a 6 foot radius from the fire. I sit according to
what I feel needs
attention . If I feel my role is to be one of wisdom, I
will sit in the
north. If I feel something new needs to be added, I will sit
to the east . If
I feel the mood needs to lighten up, I will sit to the
south. If I feel
I need to let go and not direct the circle, I will sit in
the west. The significance
of the directions is connected to the
interpretations
of the Native American medicine wheel. When all are in (
the circle), I start
the fire by asking everyone to take a moment to bring
themselves mentally
into the fire. This is a quiet time which the players
take seriously.
It’s always interesting to watch the eyes of the players.
Their eyes often
tell the stories of the week’s preparation. The darting,
unfocused, looking
around eyes usually belong to those who are insecure
about their abilities
or roles.
The eyes looking
at the ground many times imply a sense of unconnectedness.
Eyes that look into
the fire are capable of seeing what is in their heart;
they are the focused
,they are the believers of themselves, they trust
themselves enough
to allow themselves to dream.
The fires do become
spiritual at times—spiritual as in being connected to
all that is around
them, as well as seeing and believing in their highest
self. Regardless,
the fire provides the missing aspect of the holistic
experience of the
physical, mental, emotional and spiritual.
After we have all
“ arrived mentally” I personally will start with the
talking stick by
making a short comment about my observations of the week’s
preparation, or
by framing a leading question regarding a certain issue or
occurrence. After
that the fire is on its own. What needs to be said will be
said. What doesn’t
need to be said won’t be said. Sometimes our fires are
dead quiet. Sometimes
they are very lively and everybody talks. The key is
that what ever happens
is always for the best. This helps the players feel
they are always
meeting their personal needs. The average fire lasts between
45 and 60 minutes.
We conclude the fire
by everybody standing up and holding hands. I ask
everybody to look
into the fire and throw any negative feelings that they
may be holding on
to into the fire. Then I ask them to look into the fire
again and focus
on what they personally need to achieve and take that vision
from the fire. We
then break the fire with our team motto of “Iron Will”.
Those who want to
leave ,leave. Those who want to stay, stay. I place a 9:30
pm limit on all.
On the way out of my back yard, the players shake the
coaches hands and
we thank them for coming. Those who stay (usually the
linemen) sit down
and have informal dialogue. I come out and sit with them.
It’s very nice for
me because it allows me to break down the barriers that
sometimes exist
between the head coach and players. I always stay up to
midnight and look
at the fire before I go to sleep. Usually the fire is
almost out, but
I can see the remaining embers glowing. To me it’s symbolic
that our personal
internal fires have made it to game day.
Mike Donatucci
Chairperson, Physical
Education
Fremd High School
1000 S. Quentin
Rd.
Palatine, IL 60067-7099
847.755.2777
e-mail: tucc21@aol.com
The
Spring 2003 edition of The Ripple Effect will be published and available
only on this Wesite.
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