By Dr. Jeffrey K. Edwards, Ed.D., LMFT
an Ordained Deacon and Elder in the Presbyterian Church
All Poems Copyrighted by Jeff Edwards
| Ah, to be a deacon
|
#Winter Meditation | #11/23/98 | #11/24/98 | #12/5/98 |
| #12/01/98 | #12/2/98 | #A Christmas Poem | #12/17/98 | #12/18/98 |
| The Window |
God called you.......who, me?
can Betsy live with you, ....a doctor/deacon
called to be...
But what?? But why?? Your skills are more to
listening -- Interpreting -- understanding --
and now you're supposed to heal??!!
What a year; a Holy man falls ill,
you do the best you can -- not nearly enough.
An old women lays dying in a hospital
You visit -- her eyes, through the oxygen mask
look like terror you've never seen .........she knows!
She knows!! She knows you can't heal.
Those eyes...they implore you --
What the hell is this job?? I can only listen.
Then you slip and fall .....break your leg. The pain,
physical pain is easier to bear
than watching those eyes.
Did you give up? Was it easier?
Why did He call you? What is this
healing about, anyway?
Magic --- miracles -- healing -- the are
not for mere mortals --- you carry the
metal in your leg to prove it!
Healing -- that's for God to do.
Listening -- that's for men --
but who will listen to you?
Ask God to heal your doubts --
Ask God to heal you doubts --
Lord Jesus, come into my heart --
No, Lord Jesus, let me into
Your Heart!
Help me. Re generate -- Hope.
So the Terror of those eyes
will not be such surprise
Nor captivate, hold you still
and it's His way, not your will.
God called you -- to listen.
To Him --- and to His people
No magic cures, no miracles
just do what you do best --
And be with Him --
Top
I peer through my window,
what do I see?
Birds and snow covered boughs
and a leafless, black/brown tree --
The sky, cast in silver,
dulled by winter snow
seems lifeless, unhappy
yet the birds scurry to and fro.
I know that winter's bleakness
soon gives way to springs delight
and black/brown trees will
gently reach for a new suns golden light.
Our lives, like changing seasons,
each new development will grow,
and winters sadness, like emotions dark
will soon give way to glow.
So, birds keep streaking
Cardinals singing,
and even woodpeckers drum.
You let me know, my winter snow
will soon give way to Son.
Top
Lord God, Creator, settle my being
quiet my soul,
take over my heart.
Let not this life's troubles -
get in my way Lord
and keep us apart.
When I am lonely
down on my luck
Sit here beside me
keep up my pluck.
Lord God, oh Jesus
Healer divine
Lay hands on my soul
Show me a sign.
I am only human, a heart and a brain
They are hardly needed
To know all Your reign.
Lord God, oh Jesus,
healer divine.
Lay hands on my soul
show me a sign.
Slowly, imperceptibly,
I feel Your grace.
As I let you in
my heart doth race.
You overcome me
doubt disappears.
I can't do without You
or so it appears.
Lord God, oh Jesus
healer divine
Lay hands on my soul
show me a sign.
Top
Lord all mighty
mysterious that you are.
I look to you for guidance
Lord , be with me in my anger
calm me and be with me --
that I might not run off and over.
Amen
Lord Jesus, stir my soul
make me a vessel of your love.
Lord Jesus stir my soul
let me hear a message from You above.
Lord God, where is my life?
pour your love and knowledge on me.
Lord God, where is my life?
open my eyes, let me know and see.
Sweet Mary, intercede for me,
show me the way to a full life.
Sweet Mary, intercede for me,
make me rich with spirit, overcome my strife.
Holy Spirit, fill me up.
Show me the way to a rewarding day,
Holy Spirit fill me up
Help me to a life Your way!
Lord Jesus' walking beside me today.
He chases the blue clouds away
He helps me so that I do not stray
I wish there was a way to have him stay.
It helps when I calm my self and pray.
Lord Jesus is here right by my side -
I pray that with him I will always abide.
I don't like those days when I wish I could hide
It seems that there is nothing I have not tried
But the best way I know is in Him to confide.
Lord Jesus is here, takes me by the hand -
I feel like I can take my head from the sand.
I can look up, feel good and erect I stand.
I, with both feet can always land.
I'm feeling so good I can beat the band.
Lord Jesus, it's You I want to thank
Out of the dark and dreary and dank
most times it's my own ways that stank
& on you as my savior, I should always bank
Your blood, You shed for me to have drank.
Lord Jesus, I love you with all my heart.
I pray from You I will never part
When I'm lost and alone, everything is tart
no beauty exists I'm I the dark
With you it's so easy, Like I can make my mark.
Amen
Lord, center my soul.
work on me.
Open my eyes and let me see.
Calm me, lift me
hold me in your arms
let me know that I'm safe from harm.
Guide me, praise me
tell me I'm all right.
Keep me, Lord, safe and warm till the morning light.
Help me understand, Oh, Lord
that you are all I need.
Pour your Holy water on me, let me explode this seed.
Some times I feel I've got It.
other times I'm lost.
When I think of my Lord Jesus, then I know the cost.
Loose my life, in you so I'll be found
Make all the lowest urges, Your new fertile ground.
Mold me, teach me, take my blues away
Help me, love me, for today's a brand new day.
Amen
Top
12/18/98
Feeling no poems today
this is all I might say
feeling empty and dry
push me a bit and I'd cry.
Feeling confused, empty, alone.
Wish my mother was Home.
Don't know what to do for her,
afraid my soul, it will stir.
And the tears will come flowing,
don't know where I'm going.
Lord Jesus take my hand,
help me know where to stand
And not feel so small,
let me stand up big and tall.
What is the right way,
to You I obey.
amen
Lord fill my life with purpose and meaning
Let my ideas become concrete and not dreaming
Put a smile on my life -
take away all my strife
and shine on my face till it's beaming
These poems to you I write
They flow off my pen as thy might
I'm amazed at what ease -
the words they do please
and the don't seem to be a bit trite
The focus is always on You
that's the way I will ever make do
Lord God is my King
for whom I do everything
and for whom I will ever pursue
As I write and focus my mind
I leave all my troubles behind
With Lord Jesus beside me
Ever safe I will always be
and the peace that I seek, I shall find.
amen
Little pieces, all over the place
parts of my life in every direction -
Wondering how to give my soul space,
trying to make that Godly connection.
But it's more than just Godliness
soulful existence -
Feeling my life's really a mess.
It's almost Christmas!!
The whirlwind of bustle,
cram it all in on time -
Life's chores seem a tussle
when I want it to be sublime
So centered I'm not, you see,
until I call up to Thee -
Lord make my life complete,
what parts should I delete?
And then I seem to know,
how I can make it so -
You tell me, just take it slow,
try not to compete.
Just let it all happen.
It's got rhyme and reason -
Your mind and your soul's not snappen.
It's really the season.
Lord Jesus, that Holy Child,
is still here for you, so smile -
Get into the flow of life,
and enjoy it with your wife.
Not everything's perfect, it doesn't have to be
Sure some things are, like your lights and your tree -
You will get all of it done -
so just have some fun.
God, Christ, and the Holy Ghost want you to have the most -
Beautiful Christmas there ever will be -
He came here for you , you know, and you've asked Him to be with you,
so,
Look at the goodness, and grace that's the key
amen
On a March 3, 2000 retreat, after a horrible week, overwhelmed
by my lack of spirit -- my own present work load, my dastardly past, and
doubtful future, I sit in a beautiful rocking chair -- the one Sister Sheila
has pointed out to us as coveted -- yet no one else took it, so I did!
I reflect on a piece that has been given to us, that reminds us that God
is "I am," not "I was" or "I will be." As I looked out the window, three
imperfections in the bottom pane of glass -- bulls eyes they call them
-- took my attention, and so I wrote:
Looking out the panes of glass
at the oaks and river's flow.
The wind was felt a blowin' there,
Your waking breath to know.
I sat in quiet, silent prayer
reflecting on my life.
I wondered, Lord, how was it
that you gave me child and wife?
My past, so scarred, I've done it all!
The treachery I've been.
Why do you give so much to me
when all I've done is sin?
The glass, it had those tiny bumps,
such imperfections there.
And here I am, I've picked this spot.
So all I do is stare.
Reflecting on the things I've seen.
The past, and now these spots.
They remind me that I'm useful still,
even with all my dots.
They give me character, you see,
define the who I am.
And need not be so ugly,
yet, are part of Your Grand Plan.
So thank You Lord, for all You've given,
both past life, and me now.
My family, work and faith in You,
You give Spirit to my plow.
You dig me up,
and plant new seed.
In You I'm born anew.
Your loving hand is felt on me,
As I pane-fully look through.
Amen
Thank you for reading my Poems. If you have comments feel free to E-mail me at J-Edwards1@neiu.edu
Modified last on 2/05/99
